day 1 of 30

So...I didn't really get a chance to work out today, BUT~ on a good note, I never stopped going! I cleaned carpets and scrubbed the kitchen down good, worked, did groceries, played with kids, pulled weeds~ And on and on! so I guess I can say that in a sense I did get to work out. Tomorrow I will most definetly work out though, I am getting up early if I have to. I need to still take my before picture though, NOT looking forward to that at all. It sucks when you do something like that and have to look at it! especially at the begining of a workout or weight loss plan. It gets discouraging! I may not look like I'm "overweight" and no, I'm not tottaly, but I have never in my life been the weight I am now nor have I have issues with what to wear due to it not fitting. I'm determined to get my life back and get to where I can put on what I want in my closet and not worry, Not think twice about what it looks like or how it will fit, or maybe if I suck in a little more! NO!! NO MORE! I feel ok about today though, I really wish I could have had an actual cardio work out. But like I said, if I have to wake up at 630, then I'll do it~ I'm working out tomorrow and continuing this. 30 days really isn't that much! I can do it! stay focused and stay strong!!! GO GO GO!!!! (guess I better get in bed seeing that it's almst 10 then huh!) :)

30 days

So I have decided togive myself a challenge. A 30 day challenge. At the point I'm at in my life I should be more comfortable with who I am. I'm not, my self confdence is low~ which doesn't help me to push myself. So I am giving self a 30 day makeover. Starting monday, I will take a before photo, I will start working out, 5 days a week. I am going to get myself back to where I know I feel good about myself, where I want to be. Do I think I"m going to loose 20 pounds in 30 days? No, but do thin I can change and improve myself to see a difference in 30 days. Sugar...gone, soda? no problem, gave it up a while ago. Limit my carbs, ok! I am going to do this for me. I have to! I have never been the weight I am, Never felt the pressure of such low self esteem, It really takes a toll on a person and I'm done with letting it control me. When a person is self concious everything makes them feel bad or is taken differently and any compliments they do get, they dont believe. I know I can do this....Thus the blog. I figure this way I can track my progress...see how I"m doing, look at my self in new light. One full of motivation to change myself. Everyone is responsible for their own destiny, And their own attitude and feelings on themselves. I need mine to be positive. We foud out three days ago that Tristan is Autistic, So I need to be the best me and most ready me to help him progress and develop how he needs. So! STARTING MONDAY! HERE WE GO!

updates pn life

So I've decided that blogging everyday is just a crazy idea unless it is going to involve drugging my kids at a decent time and having the dish, laundry, clean my house and do everything I need to fairy visit. Right now Things are just so crazy I don't know how I'm even finding time to check my email let alone blog, non the less I'm trying! Lately this is what's been going on. We found a house that we LOVE! just have to wait until tuesday to try and see about putting in an offer on it. Robert should be going out to Los Alamos here in the next week or so for work which is good~ In the mean time he's been doing alot of sidework with a friend of ours. I am trying to find time to work on my photography and I want to start doing cake decorating too. I've been looking for a job like crazy and making phone calls up the wazoo! Kids are getting big and just as fun as ever. Tristan is still not talking but he can get what he needs when he wants it. My grandfather passed away on 8-9-10 so I went up to Utah for that. That was hard, dealing with a death is never easy but some we take more time to get over than others, and my grandpa is the one who I knew and remember. He baptized me when I was eight and I spent every summer as a child at their house. I guess only the lord knows when it's our time, and when it is.....I guess it is. I do know that I will see him again adn blogging is one way to help me relieve some stress, so I should probably do it more often~ ha ha! we'll here's to trying to blog more! GOOD LUCK TO ME!!

Days of a three year old

So Kamryn yesterday was really in rare form. She told me the truth about her! Which turned out to be that she was infact a princess....Yikes! I find myself thinking "oh boy! what have I got myself into!" She Had Everyone, Robert, Tristan, Me, Grandma and even diesel all in a queen sized bed watching snow white at ten o'clock at night. You tell me who other than a princess could really do that? Earlier that day though I had Gone to Help Robert finish up work on a Bathroom side job. Of course like any good handyman we cleaned everything before we left. Sadly for us, the owner hadn't cleaned in oh....shall we say three years? It was the nastiest bathroom I'd ever been in. Besides some truck stops. So coming home from that to the funny saying and joy of a little girl was just what I needed. Sadly the joy didn't last for this morning all we have done is cry and scream. A lovely three year old morning~ It's mornings like this that I look forward to nap time in the fullest. Grandma's are truely life savers in moments of fits. As I'm just about to snap and end up in a straight jacket from the Constant screaming of NO and I''m not going to be nice, they appear like a lovely Prozac all wrapped up in ribbon to drag the three year old from certain death. Needles to say I love these days but I will be surely happy when our outbursts of being three are over. I suppose now that I've had my 15 min to get my sanity back I better go do some damage control and clean up. It's my turn to save grandma.

Catching up~

Wow, it's August already and the last time I posted was in May. There has just been so much going on I haven't even had time to breath! So Here's my update! Around mid May robert, the kids and I went on a vacation to Vegas. Roberts parents took the kids for 5 days and Robert and I went to California with a wonderful couple, the Tews. We went to the ocean and picked seashells, hiked and swam for five days. It was a very nice and much needed Vacation. We celebrated both kids birthdays while in vegas and both set of grandparents got to see the kids. Shortly After getting back to chicago We went right back into our everyday life. Kids, work, so on and so forth. I planted a garden with tomatoes, jalapenos, bunch of different bell peppers, Cayenne peppers, cucumbers, watermelons, pumpkins, beets, peas, zucchini, squash, carrots, chard, corn, and a few other misc. peppers. Sadly I had to replant alot of the tomatoes and peppers along with the watermelons and cucumbers a few times due to a small rabbit issue......Those Wascaly Wabitts! So I created a lovely red-neck makeshift fense~ it helped and my plants finally started to grow. I watched them everyday like a mom watches kids and was so excited everytime I saw a new bud coming up. I knew that eventually I would have my first garden. I had worked so hard to get it ready, pulling weeds, tilling, pulling weed paper, fertilizing, killing grubs and potato bugs. So you can only imagine my excitement when I was able to eat my first early pea.
Next comes the crazy........Now this next small chapter in my crazy life is one that I"m happy I'm moving on from. Robert and I were having issues like any married couple and had come to a choice of splitting up. So I called my parents and they drove from Utah to Illinois to come get me. We loaded up everything I could pack in the back of their pickup ntruck and headed to the West. After a few choice conversations, a little temper and a agreement to talk robert got in the car and came to meet upu with me and the kids. Lincoln Nebraska comes and Robert caught up to us. I spent the next day in a car with him trying to figure out if we could figure this out. We came to an agreement we would leave chicago and come to las vegas. We asked my parents to watch the kids so we could go back and sell the house out there and get our stuff. They agreed and luckily my Mom has the summer off being that she is a teacher. So she was able to watch the kids. We drove from las vegas to Chicago again and in two weeks painted an entire five bedroom house cleaned packed, repaired, new carpet. Also had a whole house Garage sale. Made enough to pay the carpet replacement and all the gas to get here along with part of the moving truck cost. So needless to say that's been crazy~
Once we got to Vegas robert contacted some people and applied with company called Epslon solutions. We are waiting for his contract to go through for him to start working. He's doing all the side jobs he can as a handyman. Waiting on a foreclosure to move into and we'll be able to stop living in boxes! Robert and I are looking for things to do as a couple more and more. Trying to make it and getting him on some stablizers. Trying to do this thing called life and marriage! I'm trying to get my photography going but having a hard time when I don't have a portfolio! Getting ready to take some cake decorating classes and trying to do that for extra money on the side. Then to add to the mix. Roberts parents house flooded and robert had to fly out for a week to get it repaired. It sold but wow! what a mess!! And that's not all! on sunday night the 8th as I was talking on the phone with my parents they got a call from my grandma Y. that my grandpa was in the hospital. This is just two days after the house flooding call and robert flying out. Then I find out on 8-9-10 My grandpa had passed away. So I drove up to Utah for a much unexpected funeral. I spent that week going through pictures and helping my mom get everything ready. It was really hard but I think I would have been mad at myself if I didn't go up and get involved in some way. So Needless to say Thursday was the funeral and we layed my grandpa to rest. I think I cried more than any other person in my family. But whatever, it's ok, I'm just more emotional I guess. Anyway......That following day my Crazy cousin decides it's a good idea to hand out their wedding invitations at the funeral dinner.....Really? Wow.....Mine ended up in the garbage. I couldn't believe it, I was so angry that my own family (extended) would do something so innappropriate! Makes you remember why there are certain people in your family you just don't talk to but once a year. If that!
Saturday of that week I made a bunch of raspberry jam and apricot/pineapple. Brought it down to Vegas with me only to find out Robert doesn't even like raspberries.....MORE For ME!!! Anyway.....Robert got back from chicago and some people ihave bought it which is such a blessing. The house is off of us and his parents. But no sooner is the house fiasco under control does another one kick up....Bugs! something unsure of what is eating us alive! Robert's parents had a run in with bed bugs a while back and had the whole house sprayed, robert and I tiled two rooms and they are gone but something else has moved in! Got sprayed again today and hopefully the 24 vegas buffet that is our bodies will end. So that's basically my life and my summer the last few months~ I know I'm missing something but I'm sure I'll remember and have to update more later!

updates....

Wow so it has been a while since I posted anything and that's sad because when I started this I really wanted to keep it going, but I guess I'll just try to catch it up now and go from here. We went on Vacation to California and Las Vegas just recently and My best Friend got married so I spent some time in Utah. That was really nice, I was able to see my family who I don't see very much. I did get a few things done off of my bucket list. Like take a vacation! WAHOO!!!! and I can't remember anything else! oh wait! I got a bank account of my own. But it doesn't have much money in it because somebody who will remain nameless bought a motorcycle so every spare penny we have is going to pay that thing off.........(MEN~) I've recently decided to pursue my passion for photography but I'm having a hard time getting on my feet, I've got no real training and so I need to find a photographer to let me shadow them. I may have found one but I'm waiting to be able to talk to her in person and hopefully she'll say yes! Working as a CNA is just not what I want to keep doing the rest of my life, and until I can go to nursing school I need to find something else to do. If I can get my photography going then I wouldn't mind doing that the rest of my life either! I'll probably post more update later today or tomorrow but it's 6:50 and the kids have been up for almost 2 hours. I guess we should go eat some breakfast!

my update

So I promised myself that I would blog everyday. But obviously life has happened and I have not been blogging......SAD SAD SAD.....I really enjoy it too! so here is my update of what's been going on, Kamryn is finally started going poty in the toilet! We have been doing very good and only having a couple small accidents very few and far between. We just have to figure out how to go poop in the potty too~ That's our biggest battle right now. My work outs have been pretty good, I've lost five pounds already and have more to go but atleast I can feel it coming off, and working out is getting not so much easier, but funner? I'm not so huffy and puffy as I was a couple weeks ago. I have my teeth bleaching stuff I just have to remember to put it in at night and that will be done. The house is destroyed on a regular basis from kids but I figure that's going to be a norm for the next ten years so I've given up on cleaning every other day for a spotless house. I just try for deep clean once a week. Robert has applied to a few different places for a job and even out in Nevada so hopefully he will get a bite from soemone. I would like to move closer to my family and if that means vegas then so be it. Tristan has yet to start talking......but he sure can scream! Other than working alot there isn't much to blog about. Maybe after the storm passes and things settle down in the house I'll have more time to blog. But for now....this is it.